A Fool and his Money ...

I was told recently that more than 65% of people will be financially dependent on their children by the time they are into their late sixties. That means that statistically two out of every three people you know will fall into that category. A lack of financial planning and discipline being the chief cause of this outcome! I find this fact hard to believe, especially considering that almost all the people I know are either financially savvy or extremely conservative in their money management practices. But then maybe that is not a representative sample of the entire population.

And then I connected the above fact to an advert that is being frequently aired on the radio recently, and feel a little less sure. The first couple of times I heard it, I shook my head and wondered who could ever believe that advertisement. It is by (obviously) a Bank and in the ad a son calls his mother up and tells her in an excited breathless voice that he has got a huge bonus. His mother asks him whether it is from his employer and how many months of salary it equates to - to which he replies that it is 20 months of salary and it is not from his employer, but from his Bank.

This begs the question as to whether this reputed financial institution actually expects any one to believe this advert? And if not, then why run such an obviously spurious ad campaign? Putting two and two together I realize that there must be a huge number of people who fall prey to this sort of manipulation of the truth. I could imagine a long snaking queue of people lining up to get their free money, signing a multitude of forms without understanding what they are committing to and then living a life in debt. I am sure that there must be people who are suckered into these deals, just as there are others who get convinced to subscribe to every credit card offered to them.

And that brings me then, to the number of highly educated and sensible people around who have no financial wisdom and even worse, discipline. They are experts in their various fields and can be quite expressive and knowledgeable about politics, technology and a wide array of  other disciplines. But when it comes to basic financial management, it seems common sense is not as common as is made out to be. It could also be that for a lot of people - money and money talk can be quite embarrassing.

Investments, financial planning, insurance - try and bring these up in a social context and people’s eyes glaze over. Their discomfort is apparent, as they fidget from foot to foot, trying hard to extricate their way out of that conversation. Money and money matters are often taboo topics even amongst couples and families. Money itself is an extremely fractious element, with most people having been brainwashed from very early on, into a "money is bad" mindset. And money talk can be perceived as quite distasteful – with two common approaches used. Some people can make one feel quite cheap and shallow to talk about money, and then there are others who adopt a more spiritual approach - implicitly indicating that money is rather base and hence not important in the grand scheme of life. They will spout homilies and hogwash like - 'money cannot buy you happiness' and 'money is the root of all evil'.

Of course the same people will have no compunctions in using this vile and dirty element for their existence and consumption.

 

This dichotomy between the external projection of disdain for money and the internal desire for its value, creates a divide that is then exploited by Financial Institutions. How many times have you (in a social setting) heard passionate arguments on the merits (or lack of) of a movie, an artist or a cuisine and how many on the virtues or pitfalls of financial planning? 

 

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy - Spike Milligan 

Ships passing by

I was driving home one evening last week in a bit of a temper. It had been one of those days which had started poorly and had gone downhill from then on. Nothing major, just a succession of minor incidents and irritants that start to stack up.

 

As I was cruising along I happened to see next to me a bus full of laborers - taking them back to their camp at the end of a long day, presumably. Nothing unusual about this as it is quite a common sight on Dubai roads! Each window seat in the bus had a man either looking out or resting his head against the center pillar. I could see a few who were slouched and fast asleep. But what caught my eye was that in two consecutive rows I saw men who looked as if they were in their late fifties. White hair, stubbled cheeks, exhausted at the end of a hard day, looking around them at cars they would never sit in and houses that they probably will never experience.

I was struck at how old these two looked! I know that I am being naïve and stupid but I have somehow never thought of an 'old' laborer. Whenever I picture one - it is normally someone of South Asian decent, in their twenties or at most thirties. The thought of someone doing hard physical labor into their late fifties never occurred to me. Stupid I know - but it just did not seem right and hence was not in my frame of reference.

And that got me to thinking about how hard a life it would be for someone of that age to do hard labor. I find it difficult to bend down or to crouch and get to something on the floor, leave alone lift anything. My body already feels stiff and aged, and I am glad that the only physical demands of my job are on my fingers as they type. If there is a light switch that is a bit low on the wall, or I have dropped something on the floor - I ask the kids to get to those. Squatting, crouching, bending low are all activities that I assiduously avoid.

I know that what you are probably thinking is that your body gets used to certain physical movements and that these guys have been doing it all their life and hence know no different. You may be right, but I was thinking also of their mental state. How would one cope with the knowledge that your entire life has been and will continue to be an endless succession of mindless labor? While one is in their twenties and their thirties - there is still hope of redemption. One can still dream or work on changing their situation. There is still a slender chance that one can save money for a small paddy field, or a coconut grove back home. There is still hope that some stroke of destiny will afford them maybe a change of job - something plush like a driver or an office boy.

But what does one dream of in their fifties at the bottom rung of the ladder? How does one cope with the thought that ones physical and hence financial means are diminishing day by day? And there are still long years ahead. The years of physical labor having taken a toll, will mean that the body already ravaged, will demand more rest, more attention and hence more care. And what about their children? How do they see and cope with the fact that their father has to sweat every day of his life to support them? How would I feel in a similar situation?

It is only natural that we consider the tribulations of people who are in our sphere of interest, like the helpers, the office boys, the junior staff and house help. But even on their worst day they work in better conditions than these men who work in the most demanding of places for a pittance. Who toil in near boiling temperatures with heavy safety gear, to provide us the luxuries that we take for granted. On our worst day - we can think of retirement or a day in the future when we will not have to take $#*it from anyone.

And then I thought back to the petty irritants that day, that had fouled my mood - the small ripples in my scheme of things that had upset me - and I felt like a petulant child. A spoiled brat - throwing tantrums for the smallest of things. In comparison to what those men in the bus endure, how trivial is the stuff that makes us irritable! Our egos demand the gratification of every impulse, getting affronted at the most insignificant of occurrences. And then I asked myself - would the things that upset me that day have upset me if I had walked a mile in their shoes?

 

Even though I had passed that bus by the time this train of thought had finished, in my mind's eye I envisaged them seeing me drive my car past their bus. If they did happen to notice me, as I noticed them - what would they think? How would they picture my life? The answer was obvious to me! And so driving in cocooned air-conditioned comfort that I have so taken for granted, my mood suddenly lifted. 

I felt blessed, but somehow smaller at the same time.     

Breaking Bad

We have just finished watching Breaking Bad (an American TV series) and are still reeling from its conclusion. Despite reading and hearing rave reviews about this series, I somehow did not feel that the plot would appeal to me and hence had refrained from starting it earlier. 

The series 'is' eminently watchable - but this blog is not about how great the series was. It is more about a side of story-telling that had been lost (on me) for a while. Each episode in this series dwells on the quotidian routines of a family that is struggling to keep up normalcy in quite abnormal times.

Having invested well over 50 hours into the Series, what struck me the most as I watched this drama unfold, was its pace! Unlike other Movies and TV Series, that over the years we have become used to - this one did not take off like a booster rocket, nor did every episode feel like it was on a testosterone high. Each episode, and the entire story itself, had a stillness - a quiet - that I did not realize was missing in modern day entertainment, until I rediscovered it in this series. The episodes were littered with scenes where the characters were caught deep in thought, or reflecting on what has just transpired.

 

The series was replete with facial close-ups capturing micro-expressions. At each and every turn in the main characters’ fate, we could literally sense the intense thought process going on, as he tried to fit another piece of the puzzle and in so doing extricate himself from that situation. Sometimes it felt like the cameraman had taken a coffee break behind the lens - so intent and fixed was the focus on the actors face and expressions. So still was the camera that we could see the entire gamut of emotions, revealing the turbulence of passions and conflicting desires as they flitted across his face. The nuances of expression were caught so stunningly, that one was almost led to believe that one could read the characters thoughts.

The entire experience harked back to the times when we had the patience to let a good story develop! To a time when giving up the first 20 minutes of a movie (to let it build momentum), or the first hundred pages of a good book (to develop its plot and characters), was not seen as a waste of time. The Director or the Writer did not feel compelled to immerse the audience into the deep end within a minute of the tale starting, or risk losing the audience altogether.

If one had told me all of this before I started the series, I would have never started it at all. I would never have thought I would have the patience to sit through the quiet moments. But having started, we were completely caught up in it and felt an almost voyeuristic pleasure, as the plot twisted the characters' lives. This show has been a paradigm shifter for me, in the sense that I always thought that the best fiction was the one with the big bangs, rather than the slow paced unraveling of a person’s life as they fight the unintended consequences of their decisions.

I think I now have a better understanding of the allure and addiction of people who are glued to Big Brother and other such Reality Shows. There is such endless fascination in the lives of others! And even though this series was not a reality show by any stretch of imagination, its pace could well have been.

When it comes to Reality Shows - I guess knowing that it is largely unscripted, adds spice that could blister even the most hardened tongue.

Hello 2014

It is a little late in the day to be welcoming 2014 but anyway I started a tradition last year and I need to keep at it....

 

I have never been one to make a lot of New Year resolutions, though last year I did try and make one! And no - I did not achieve what I wanted to and hence this year I have decided to revert to norm.

Actually, it is quite illuminating to read the resolutions that people make at the start of the year - every celebrity expounds on how they will try and change their life and the world for better during the coming year. I feel that all such annual resolutions are doomed to fail.

 

A resolution does not require that it be made at the start of a calendar year - it is a resolution after all and should be made whenever one desires to change an aspect of one's life. It is a 'bit' like celebrating Mothers Day and Fathers Day. What the heck is that? One remembers, loves, respects and celebrates their parents every day - for life!

So you can gather from the above that I have made no resolutions for this year. I know that it will be one more year of change, one more year of learning and I just hope that it is a smooth one. Sometimes the years that pass us by with nothing major to remember them by, are probably the best! I have had a few such years in the past, which dissipated with hardly a trace and just a few wispy memories to get nostalgic over. And all that they left me with, was a year older - and very often not much wiser.

I am sure a lot of people are picking up the pieces of their life having resolved to lose weight or gain a new skill or get a job or leave a bad relationship or whatever. I wish them success and the very best of luck. I am equally sure that by now most of the same resolutions made at the end of 2013, in a burst of beverage induced bravado, are already dissipating like the short winters in the Middle East.   

Just as the end of a year often brings on a reflective mood to look back, a new year is a great time to get hopeful of the future - to look forward and ahead, to better times. I just hope to live in good health, without fear - to take a few chances without inundating myself with negativity.

 

It is already looking like a year of travel - but that is now common enough to not warrant a mention. The world 'has' become a smaller place, which means that staying connected with close ones is easier.

 

I also sincerely hope that I can with my writings maintain the interest of all who venture here, as well as provide them with avenues for introspection and reflection.    

 

Constant Connectivity - Is it a blessing or a Curse?

Sunday the 14th of July 2013 was the last day that one could send a telegram in India. After over 150 years the service was terminated. So what - you may well ask? How many of us have actually ever sent one? I have maybe sent a couple of telegrams in my entire life! But it is one more invention that changed the world around us - that is no longer "relevant".

How long does one expect the postal service to keep going? Does anyone still send faxes or use pagers? What about landlines - how long before they are redundant, if not already so? Along with the cyclostyle, Xerox paper, Vinyl Records, VHS cassettes and the dodo (Dodo??) what other ubiquitous technology will become extinct in the next 5 years? How long do you think CD's and DVD's will last? They are already on their last legs as sales drop with music and movies being streamed via the internet "free". In fact quite a few movies are now available on-demand through iTunes and Amazon, even before they are released in cinemas.

I was just reading a survey that said that travelers in USA now prefer Hotels with no in-room entertainment - a strong WIFI is all that is needed! With lap-tops and iPads connected to their favorite sites like Hulu and Megashare, they can see what they want when they want.  How long before set-top boxes also become extinct?

I now seek constant connectivity every where I go. I hate to step outside the bubble of a Wi-Fi zone, considering that every source of input, information and entertainment requires me to be plugged in now. If that is the way 'I' feel how can I cast a stone at the youngsters who grew up with this and have never known a life without? Even when booking a hotel room while traveling on holiday, the most important facility for us (barring clean toilets) is free Wi-Fi. In fact we were extremely aggrieved when we stayed in a five star hotel in Atlanta last year which did not provide free in-room Wi-Fi.

But all of this connectivity comes at a high price.

It has diminished my window of privacy, increased the stress of keeping in touch and the associated guilt of never being able to satisfy every stakeholder in my life.

Most of us in the Corporate World have known what it is to experience death by email. The flood of messages is so severe that one cannot hope to stem it. Unread and un-responded emails abound and just as I think I have got them in control, a fresh deluge makes me envy Sisyphus.

But now we also have personal Emails, FB, LinkedIn, Twitter, SMS, WhatsApp, etc. Some of us have gone the extra mile and got ourselves multiple personal email ID's (as if one was not enough). I know that they are for different purposes (and not what you think). And to access all of these apps and emails we have Laptops, BB's, Smartphones and Tablets providing almost constant connectivity.

However every time I unlock my iPhone or my iPad screen, I see these small red Badges, reminding me of unseen messages, reminders and updates. These badges also inform me of the number of these unread and un-responded messages, making my blood pressure rise by a few mmHg every time I look at the screen.  

I feel like I am standing at the bottom of a huge information dam which is creaking and groaning with the mounting pressure of that information bearing down on it. I expect at any moment to be absolutely submerged by the deluge of data with nowhere to run.

 

And this is just the tip of the iceberg! As more and more of our everyday stuff of life is introduced into the digital universe it can only get worse. A huge proportion of our time and our brainpower is being utilized in this wanton act of being connected. We are forced to react, respond and engage, as the social pressure of not being on any digital platform increases. I have so far refrained from completely diving into this madness. Wetting my toes and putting my head in, once in a while, is all I have done.  

But the question keeps haunting me - should I continue to abstain or not? If I do enter - should it be as a digital stalker? As someone who reads about what is happening to others while keeping myself private - almost like a virtual voyeur?  Or should I add my timeline into this universe?

And if I do - if I commit to this domain, the question is - will I be able to keep up? Will I be able to, on a constant basis, wish and greet people with whom I have the most tenuous of links, on their Birthdays, anniversaries and other occasions? Will I be able to live with the constant guilt of not being able to reciprocate? Of not being able to engage in the banal chatter and banter that represents immersion in the FB and WhatsApp universe?  

While I mull this problem on an intellectual level, my gut and my heart are drumming a different tune. They are telling me to push back, to actually unplug completely and retain control over my time and my energy. All around me I see swathes of people who have succumbed and have turned into digital junkies. I need to set an example and resist this siren call of an addictive technology. 

And like the fabled Sirens whose songs continually called on Persephone, the appeal of this universe is hard to resist, but if heeded can only lead to a terrible conclusion. 

I guess the answer (as always) lies somewhere in between - in moderation.