Corporate Life - Telecons

In a previous blog I had promised that I would write about telecons.

Telecons, for the uninitiated, are when two or more people have a telephonic conversation. This form now replaces face to face meetings and presentations, as the medium of choice to share information, views and actions in my organisation. As part of a global corporation, we all now have, or are a part of, extended teams that spread across vast geographies and time zones. It is quite expensive to connect face to face, and telecons serve the purpose of meeting up. Attending telecons is one of the privileges of working for a MNC. Employees of regional and local organisations (I presume) would have to suffer less from this malaise.

Hardly a day goes by that I do not have to attend a telecon. I have seen the diaries of some of my colleagues whose only work, it seems, is to attend one telecon after another. Their days and weeks are packed with back-to-back telecons, so much so, that you wonder how they ever get any work done. The answer is, that in this networked world, telecons are the work that you do, and some parts of the organisation have to endure more telecons than others.


To take this medium to another level, there is what is called a netmeeting. That is a combination of a telecon and a presentation, incorporating the worst of both worlds. Not being a technophile, the explaination of a netmeeting is beyond me, but suffice to say that you click on an icon on your desktop and your PC is then connected to another PC and you start seeing what is on their screen. The technology is really cool, though the application is as dreary as a rainy day morning. Now, not only do you have to hear someone drone on about their favorite project, you also get to see it in multicolour.
Having attended a few telecons over the last couple of years, I have observed a certain rhythm to the same :-

• Telecons always take the time allocated to them. It is not done to have a one hour telecon finish in 15 minutes.
• The value derived from a telecon is in inverse proportion to the number of people attending.
• It has become quite the fashion now to share bits of information which have absoluely no relevance to almost all others.
• It is a sign of seniority to have recurring (weekly or monthly) telecons. If you are not the organiser of at least one recurring telecon, you are obviously of no standing in the organisation.
  

I personally have had a mixed experience of telecons, ranging from some very effective and enjoyable ones, to others which have been unmitigated disasters. The more memorable ones have been where, other attendees are less tech-savvy than me. The most common occurence is when attendees forget or cannot mute their call, and the sounds of children at play, domestic arguments and even toilets flushing overpower the speaker. I remember being on a telecon in which a colleague dialled in from Mumbai. He was on a local commuter train at the time, and I remember getting almost nostalgic, hearing the rich and varied sounds of the vendors on that train. Of course the chairperson was not amused and eventually asked that colleague to hang up.

Another rib-tickler, during a long and insufferable monologue, is when a participant is suddenly asked his opinion on an issue. Most of the participants have long since mentally phased out and are either busy with other work, or daydreaming. The rest can actually sense the guy on the spot trying to get his wits back as he scrabbles to replay the question in his head, and give a plausible response. I award mental points based on the quality of reply. Of course the easy way out, is to ask for the question to be repeated, the excuse being interference on the line.

As you can see, there is joy to be gleaned from the most tedious of tasks, and boys being boys, will always come up with some way to make the most of any situation. It is not as bad as I make out, there are positives like getting to talk to all these people all over the world, getting to know their business ... oh who am I fooling !!!