We have come a long way Baby

It started as it always does, the casual touch of a hand, the sideways glance conferring more meaning than a tome. Words left unspoken, expressions that belied emotions, and all of these overshadowed by the fear of rejection. From that small seed of attraction decades ago, dictated more by pheromones and raging hormones, grew a tree that shades all else in my life. That seed was planted 15 years ago to the day, and looking back this magnificent tree owes its very existence to one person. This article is for my wife, or should I say my best friend, my companion, my backbone and my life partner.

For a relationship to have seen the back end of over 17 years (of which 15 are certified) is no small feat. These 17 years have seen us through quite a few ups and downs and looking back I wonder at it all. I feel like laughing at the doubts and the tribulations that now seen through the lens of hindsight seem so insignificant. I reflect on the good times already past with serendipity, and dream of the great times ahead. I look around me and take stock of my life, and every aspect, in fact, every cell of every building block of every aspect, and I see her stamp on it. Everything I have built, the entire edifice of my life has been hoisted by the untiring support and unstinting love showered on me by her. Many times the young sapling was on the verge of being uprooted by the gale force winds around it. It bent and twisted, was almost uprooted, but stood its ground. It bounced upright every time the wind abated and as its roots spread and as its trunk grew wide, it became strong.

It is difficult enough to be a pillar of support; it is made tougher still when you are made to feel that it is not necessary. For the most part of these years, that is the way I made her feel - loved but not needed, desired but not required. For a woman who derives her comfort and security from being needed, that was the unkindest cut of all. She has always been there for me, always in my shadow. I had but to voice, and my want became her command. In that shadowy place she survived, sustained, evolved to one day emerge, molded into what to me is perfection. I don't know how she did it, because even the hardiest of plants would find it difficult to survive let alone bloom in that murky place that my shadow cast. Many is the time that she wept herself to sleep, with not a word of comfort or solace. Her pride was such that she kept her grief to herself, as day passed day, and month passed month, alone in her insecurities and fears. Through those years, she stood steadfast, with a smile on her lips and hurt (that only I could see) in her eyes. Suppliant but resolute, her sorrow whitewashed by a ready laugh and a beaming smile (that over the years has won over many), she never left my side. Her soft hand was always there for me to grasp whenever I needed.

Of course there were periodic eruptions, some of gargantuan scale, but they always simmered down. By and large her placid and happy nature bore her through. In that high pressure environment, the very carbon in her atoms was slowly compressed over time into diamond. The caterpillar broke out of her chrysalis to emerge a butterfly - iridescent with colors and beautiful as only a creature of God can be. It has definitely not been an easy ride, nor has it been all fun. Relationships are the strongest that have been forged in the fires of torment, and to have come out reborn as tough as tempered steel. Over this time she worked her insidious magic so that today I cannot take a step without her being there. Her presence is all that it takes to soothe away my tensions, and the magic of her hands abates even a torrid fever. Her laugh, her unending chatter over the phone, the patter of her feet as she walks briskly around the house, her hand in mine when times are tough, her caress on my forehead as I drift off to sleep, her ability to always remind me of what is really important in life, her disdain for the trappings of wealth and her love for all mankind, all of these and many more are the traits that I love so dearly.

Having made it through the turbulence of these first few years, the road ahead looks smooth. There will for sure be bumps and humps ahead, just as there will be dangers lurking around every corner, but with her hand in mine, the journey ahead becomes an adventure. To take liberties with the old Virginia Slims advert - We have come a long way baby, but it is only because YOU have come a long way baby, and brought me along with you.