Bob's your uncle

I don't know about you, but I really really get amazed when someone addresses me as Uncle. Just to clarify, I do not get upset, just amazed. For example at the gym, there is a young lad who normally strikes up a conversation with me. We talk about fitness and different types of exercise, give each other a high five or low five or whatever the current bonding ritual is, and then he ends the interaction by calling me Uncle.

I mean, I do not think of myself as an Uncle!! Do you?  

I know that I am getting on in years, and to be honest have no issue or umbrage with that concept. I do not try and mask my years, or lie about my age. I believe in ageing as gracefully as nature intended, and the benefits of being male are that there are no expectations about hair density or colour, and skin tone. Males in all sizes are eminently acceptable, whereas if a woman is not 36-24-36 one could justifiably ask for a refund. As an aside, it really is good to be a male - is it not? We can eat what we want, grow oversize, get bald, have hair coming out of our noses or ears, and we are au naturelle'. For a woman life just is tougher. Quite often even the extravagant spend on cosmetics and other “enhancements” do not do enough. Basically nature intended for males to age (or mature) better.

Strange enough I feel exactly the same as I have felt since my memories began. I ‘am’ balding perceptibly at the top of my head, but my hair growth elsewhere on my scalp is good enough to cover up for it. I know teenagers who have lost more hair then I have. The only physical aspect that I may get a bit sensitive about is my waist, which seems to have a mind of its own.

I was never a physically proficient boy, so my fitness and skill levels have probably improved since my teens, and mentally I am sure I am a match for my adolescent days. As mentioned in one of my earlier blogs, I never was one for late nights, so obviously do not feel the onset of age when I am having a late night out. I feel the way I have always felt. It is not as if, when I am subjected to loud synthesized computer generated Rave music in a nightclub, I tell myself that I am getting too old for this. (By the way remind me to write about my recent night-club outing!). I have always felt this way about loud synthesized computer generated Rave music! As a kid I would have had a headache, just as I do now.

Granted, that in the mornings I do mince my steps a bit till I have worked out the stiffness, but that I blame more on the temperature of the room, which my wife keeps at sub-zero. It is definitely not my joints that are stiffer, just the environment that is not suitable. I still walk as fast as I used to, and am sure that I can run further than I used to waddle, as a heftier teenager. Getting down on the floor and getting off it, is a bit of a struggle, just as touching my toes while stretching is, but let us not get petty here.

So when exactly did I become an Uncle? At what age do we transition from being called by our first name to an honorific? Can one call you an Uncle and treat you as a friend? Are we not supposed to treat "Uncles" with respect? If yes, how can you joke with me, spout profanity in my company, play competitive sport with me, and then end it all by calling me Uncle?

If I am your frigging Uncle, then stand at attention when you talk to me, and stop giving me high fives. Show me some respect! Or better still just call me by my name!