Pimp Up Your Ride

I do apologize at the outset of this post that it 'will' come across as excessively preachy. But anyway here goes .....

 

In an earlier post, a letter to my son, a piece of advice I gave him, was on the importance of staying healthy. To paraphrase it, I wrote "Take care of your body. It is the only vehicle that truly matters - all others can be bought, discarded and upgraded"

Of course at the time of writing that, it was just one of the many thoughts whizzing through my mind. It was a period when the conflict between sagacity and emotion were raging in my head, and I was being torn between being a parent and a sage. But this particular line somehow resonated with me, especially when I relate it to the behavior of so many people.

Recently I read an irony (relating to India of course) that 'Indians are obsessed with screen guards on their smartphones even though most come with Gorilla glass that is scratch proof, but never bother wearing a helmet while riding their bikes'. Don't you think the same sentiment holds true for so many who take assiduous care of their vehicles, but not for their own physical well-being?

It has often struck me as amazing that anyone would buy a machine or a physical object and then persevere to maintain it in perfect condition for the rest of its useful life - whereas the same person would completely ignore the one thing that they should not - their own health! We all know of people who will strip an engine down periodically and reassemble it after cleaning and oiling every part. They will spend countless hours in polishing, burnishing and shining their cars. They will take pride in the spotless gleam of the chrome bumpers, and the hermetic cleanliness of its interiors - but will be absolutely callous with their own health. The time, money and resources some have spent on getting their motorbikes souped and primped up, in my opinion could have been better spent on a gym or sports club membership.

On the other hand they ignore the most important vehicle in their life - their own body! They abuse it by eating junk, smoking, drinking and depriving it of sleep. And I really wonder as to how they justify these two such seemingly contradictory practices?

I mean how can one be so particular of one and not the other? AND if there is in fact a choice to be made - would it not make more sense to take care of ones body first?

Is it that this self-evident truth is not obvious to them or is it that it is just too difficult to do? Maybe it is similar to a smokers mindset - one that recognizes the detrimental impact of cigarettes in general, but does not believe that it applies to them.

Even if one looks at it from an economic consequence - no matter how expensive a car you have, whether it is a Rolls Royce or a Ferrari - at the end of it you can only lose the value you paid for that car, and that too if you are not insured. At the time of taking out insurance you are required to declare the cars value. How much would you value your body for? And what value would one place on the consequences of its failure?

How can one take pride in owning a powerful German car or a beautiful Italian machine, when they themselves look like a wreck?  I cannot pretend to understand the mental psyche of an overweight person, preening and posturing proudly as they step out of a sleek automobile.

I have tried to use our cars as a juxtapose to our bodies, because in some shape or form they are both vehicles, but in reality this can be applied to almost any physical construct that one gets obsessive about. Whether it is ones house, stereo system or wardrobe - they are all replaceable.

Now please understand that in no way am I suggesting that one should trash ones vehicles or misuse their possessions into a bad condition. I take pride in the cleanliness and maintenance of my cars, just as I do for all my belongings. I think it is a privilege that I have what I have and I try and use all those objects accordingly. But I truly believe that my body is more important by orders of magnitude, than any of these other material possessions!

Some people may be equally callous with both their assets and their physiques. They could read this and justify to themselves that they are egalitarian in their approach to all things - which in some way provides them with a warped rationale to indulge and trash their bodies. That is being quite foolish. I think we have a greater responsibility to our bodies and have to learn to live up to that.

So I say to you - Dude - you better pimp up the one (actually the only) ride that truly matters!  

Insects - those creepy crawlies

I recently heard a Radio Jockey recount his experience about creatures travelling from foreign lands. This particular RJ was returning from a trip to Sri Lanka and as he was waiting to check in, he saw this absolutely ginormous cockroach get into the bag of a passenger ahead of him. Now he was faced with a quandary as to whether to warn the passenger or to keep mum. He chose the latter (probably out of discretion) and was then voicing, the imagined shock that man would get when he opened his bag on reaching his destination. His objective was to ask us, his listeners, as to whether we had had a similar experience and what we would do in his situation.

As he was talking I realized that in Dubai we do not come much into contact with insects. Life here is much more antiseptic, as most houses are sealed from the elements for a large part of the year. We did have a recent incident with a lizard in the house, but that I will leave for another time.

Growing up however, we were surrounded by flies, bugs, roaches, grasshoppers, dragon flies, you name it, as we had a lot of greenery around. Our houses were open all through the day and night and hence would have to be deloused on regular intervals to get rid of pests. It was not uncommon to move a kitchen cabinet to find roaches skittering for cover. And hence with this proximity also came a certain familiarity, though never a sense of acceptance.

Anyway talking about insects reminded me of two seminal incidents in my life.

First Incident

The first incident was a long time ago during my Chartered Accountancy (CA) Final Examinations. These are high pressure professional exams for which one studied and trained for months and years with a very low pass percentage. I was in the midst of these exams and on exam days I would go to bed early (as always) but get up pre-dawn to revise for that days paper. Since it would still be dark and so as not to disturb the rest of my family, I used to study on the dining table in the living room. I would get up at 04.30 am, make myself a cup of tea and then settle down with my books. This was crucial study time, as I was rested from a good nights sleep and my brain was fresh.

We had a lamp on the dining table, by the light of which I would study. The lamp's base was a statue of a lady with the bulb being held up in her hand - something like the Statue of Liberty, with a rotating on/off switch at the base of the bulb holder. That day I turned the lamp on, opened my books and sat down to read. As I was turning the pages, I thought I saw the light flicker and looked up. There were two absolutely huge grasshoppers, sitting on the lamp not six inches from my face. They were balefully looking at me, with their long antennae twitching. And as they moved their limbs slowly to change position their bodies cast flickering shadows which had drawn my attention. For what seemed like eternity I was absolutely transfixed, as my conscious mind tried to come to terms with the size and position of the hoppers.

As I recovered from the early morning shock, I slowly eased the chair back, got up and went back to bed. In that moment I realized that no more studying was possible that morning and the examination paper to follow that day be damned. These were critical exams but I would much rather test my retention skills than my ability to shoo these massive insects off that lamp. And of course there was absolutely no chance of me continuing to study there, with the two of them looking at me as if I were a stalk of grass!!

Since that day I never turned that lamp on in the dark without first ensuring that no insect was lurking on or near it.

Second Incident

The thing about insects is that even when one sees them at a distance, we somehow picture them on our skin and our mind reacts accordingly. The second incident happened on a holiday with friends some years ago. We were in the Florida Everglades which has quite a population of insects and on the first evening were half bitten to death by biting flies that come out during sunset. They came out so rapidly and in such clouds that we had no recourse but to quickly get back in our cars. The Everglades are also well known for the size and distinctive coloration of its lubber grasshoppers.

Next day we were walking along a boardwalk in the Everglades when a friend spied one of these huge multihued grasshoppers attached to two long thrushes, below the rail of the walkway. As is common with juvenile males, he decided to see how far he could pull those twigs apart before the hopper bailed out. So he took the two twigs and slowly started pulling them apart. All of us were leaning over the rails, completely intent on seeing what the hopper would do. As it kept adjusting its position, I am sure we were all thinking about how it would feel if it just suddenly jumped onto us. Unbeknownst to us one other friend had crept away and returned silently with a long twig. He bent down behind his rapt wife and stroked her open ankle with it. You can imagine what must have gone through her mind as she let out a huge scream, which very rapidly emptied the Everglades of all life. The friend who was leaning over to play with the hopper nearly fell over himself. Out initial catatonia was replaced with bellyaching laughter as we saw the grinning countenance and realized what had happened.

Insects bring out such deep rooted fears among most of us - as they are the most alien of life forms that we normally encounter. Their variety itself is mindboggling, leave alone their capacity to survive and reproduce. Even a small insect can make a huge man jump back in alarm. Depending on the size of the insect confronting us we will either skirt around it or squash it. Our instincts are to try and kill them (actually exterminate is the word most often used), but...  

"If all insects on Earth disappeared, within 50 years all life on earth would end. If all human beings disappeared from the Earth, within 50 years all forms of life would flourish." Jonas Salk (Biologist). 

Goodbye 2014

It has been difficult to start writing after such a long hiatus, but this last blog of the year has now become like a diary to reflect on the year just passed.

 

I did not want to disrupt that routine and 'maybe' regret it a few years later. So if you do read the following list of highlights in my year - please excuse the lack of flow as well as the resultant rustiness (in my writing) that will be apparent.

Career Change

The biggest change was that after 20 years my wife turned her back on Corporate life, (something that, to start with, she had never been enamored by) - to venture out on her own. It was a big decision and an extremely brave one too, as after quite a succession of rather bad experiences in various other organizations, she had settled well in Shell and loved the organization, the culture and the people she worked with. But a desk job was not her calling - had never been - and it was a now or never call that we had to make.

She qualified as a professional Image Consultant as well as a qualified Make-Up Artist. This meant a lot of travel, to learn and also to intern with prominent Make-Up artists, to pick up some actual work experience. That has of course meant sacrifices for the family, mostly in terms of time spent apart. For her, this has been compounded by feelings of guilt - guilt to leave family for extended periods of time, and also guilt of not feeling like she is working and contributing every day. We expect that this situation will continue into 2015 as well.

In our society it is still a little hard for people to understand and accept that women can step out on their own. It is difficult, in this era of helicopter parenting, to take such decisions that mean time spent away from loved ones, especially children. If a man does it to further his career, it is understandable as he is doing it, to well further his career!

Anyway in the last few months she has experienced a tremendous amount, met amazing people and had some incredible experiences. Her passion, energy and enthusiasm for what she does, and the miles she is willing to walk (literally sometimes) to do it, are a huge contrast to her reticence and unwillingness in the past, to do any more than was expected in her "job".

All the best sweetheart for 2015 and beyond!!

Bachelor life

Of course these prolonged absences resulted in me spending quite a bit of time on my own. The Gulf is known for its "summer bachelors", men who spend the three months of summer holidays working, while families are back home. I got to experience it for the first time.

 

I used that time to get some physical and dietary discipline back into my life. I had become lazy and had started to put an inordinate importance on food, resulting in putting on quite a bit of weight. Since August, having started a more intensive exercise regime and also (literally) counting calories that I ingest daily, I have managed to shed almost 5 kilos. The target was 6 kilos by the end of the year, which will now be increased to 10 kilos, by Quarter 1 of 2015.  Having done this a few times in my life before, I hope that this marks a watershed moment in my life and results in a lifestyle change, rather than just a short term project.

This holiday season just passed was a litmus test of my resolve and I must say that I passed it (just about). I have put a kilo back on. But I am optimistic of shedding it (and more) in the months to come.

Phuket trip

Another high during the year was a Boys-only trip with my childhood buddies, to celebrate all (well most) of us reaching a half century. We were 10 guys who grew up in a small colony in South Mumbai. Since we were all from the same community, ethnic group, religion and culture, bonds were easily made and then maintained, despite the span of time and distance.

This was the first trip of its kind since I remember and definitely the only one in over 25 years.

 

And the trip turned out to be everything that I would have wanted it to be. Over the years I had forgotten what it is like to be on a boys-only holiday. There were very few demands on ones time, and space was given to each to do what one felt comfortable with. There was no one to put fears into you, nor hold you back, which meant that without exception we indulged in a few high thrill activities, to try and recreate some of the thrills of boyhood. Some of us even forgot that our bodies had aged more than our minds - in our unsuccessful attempts to replicate the physical dexterity of our youths.

 

Each meal was an occasion to dredge back memories or indulge in banter that only childhood friends can revel in. Every meeting was an excuse to laugh, to poke fun and bask in the comfort of kindred spirits.  

 

There was no one who felt the need to think for you, nor did anyone try and cajole you into doing something that you did not want to. There was just the pleasure of being in each others company and for picking up the threads of childhood friendships.

I sincerely hope this will be not be the last such trip!

 

Touching 50 and self questioning

Another big milestone this year was my having touched 50 in the last few weeks of December. A half century on this Earth is an excellent reason for some more introspection! Honestly I do not feel any older, but do question life's purpose and meaning. I truly wish I was more spiritual, as that could provide some illusion of understanding - but my mind is rooted in logic, reason and rationality, which means that some metaphysical dimensions just do not resonate.

Passion has been sorely lacking in my life - a passion that drives you out of bed every morning and makes you look forward to the day ahead with bated breath. I cannot reconcile myself to the fact that each day's meaning is garnered from what I eat, how I exercise and my work schedule. Weeks and weekends have blurred into a meaningless opacity, with nothing to differentiate one from the other, other than the inexorable passage of time. I do not quite know 'when' my life became a turgid river, flowing through an endless vista of unchanging scrubland, but I do realize that I need to change its course towards a more varied landscape.

Maybe 2015 will provide me with some ideas or gently nudge me in a new direction that will reveal a bit more of what I am truly meant to do. I honestly do not have too much optimism about this - but we all live in hope.

So Happy New Year to you - Dear Reader - and I do hope that 2015 holds (at least some of) the answers that you might be seeking in your own life.