It has been difficult to start writing after such a long hiatus, but this last blog of the year has now become like a diary to reflect on the year just passed.
I did not want to disrupt that routine and 'maybe' regret it a few years later. So if you do read the following list of highlights in my year - please excuse the lack of flow as well as the resultant rustiness (in my writing) that will be apparent.
Career Change
The biggest change was that after 20 years my wife turned her back on Corporate life, (something that, to start with, she had never been enamored by) - to venture out on her own. It was a big decision and an extremely brave one too, as after quite a succession of rather bad experiences in various other organizations, she had settled well in Shell and loved the organization, the culture and the people she worked with. But a desk job was not her calling - had never been - and it was a now or never call that we had to make.
She qualified as a professional Image Consultant as well as a qualified Make-Up Artist. This meant a lot of travel, to learn and also to intern with prominent Make-Up artists, to pick up some actual work experience. That has of course meant sacrifices for the family, mostly in terms of time spent apart. For her, this has been compounded by feelings of guilt - guilt to leave family for extended periods of time, and also guilt of not feeling like she is working and contributing every day. We expect that this situation will continue into 2015 as well.
In our society it is still a little hard for people to understand and accept that women can step out on their own. It is difficult, in this era of helicopter parenting, to take such decisions that mean time spent away from loved ones, especially children. If a man does it to further his career, it is understandable as he is doing it, to well further his career!
Anyway in the last few months she has experienced a tremendous amount, met amazing people and had some incredible experiences. Her passion, energy and enthusiasm for what she does, and the miles she is willing to walk (literally sometimes) to do it, are a huge contrast to her reticence and unwillingness in the past, to do any more than was expected in her "job".
All the best sweetheart for 2015 and beyond!!
Bachelor life
Of course these prolonged absences resulted in me spending quite a bit of time on my own. The Gulf is known for its "summer bachelors", men who spend the three months of summer holidays working, while families are back home. I got to experience it for the first time.
I used that time to get some physical and dietary discipline back into my life. I had become lazy and had started to put an inordinate importance on food, resulting in putting on quite a bit of weight. Since August, having started a more intensive exercise regime and also (literally) counting calories that I ingest daily, I have managed to shed almost 5 kilos. The target was 6 kilos by the end of the year, which will now be increased to 10 kilos, by Quarter 1 of 2015. Having done this a few times in my life before, I hope that this marks a watershed moment in my life and results in a lifestyle change, rather than just a short term project.
This holiday season just passed was a litmus test of my resolve and I must say that I passed it (just about). I have put a kilo back on. But I am optimistic of shedding it (and more) in the months to come.
Phuket trip
Another high during the year was a Boys-only trip with my childhood buddies, to celebrate all (well most) of us reaching a half century. We were 10 guys who grew up in a small colony in South Mumbai. Since we were all from the same community, ethnic group, religion and culture, bonds were easily made and then maintained, despite the span of time and distance.
This was the first trip of its kind since I remember and definitely the only one in over 25 years.
And the trip turned out to be everything that I would have wanted it to be. Over the years I had forgotten what it is like to be on a boys-only holiday. There were very few demands on ones time, and space was given to each to do what one felt comfortable with. There was no one to put fears into you, nor hold you back, which meant that without exception we indulged in a few high thrill activities, to try and recreate some of the thrills of boyhood. Some of us even forgot that our bodies had aged more than our minds - in our unsuccessful attempts to replicate the physical dexterity of our youths.
Each meal was an occasion to dredge back memories or indulge in banter that only childhood friends can revel in. Every meeting was an excuse to laugh, to poke fun and bask in the comfort of kindred spirits.
There was no one who felt the need to think for you, nor did anyone try and cajole you into doing something that you did not want to. There was just the pleasure of being in each others company and for picking up the threads of childhood friendships.
I sincerely hope this will be not be the last such trip!
Touching 50 and self questioning
Another big milestone this year was my having touched 50 in the last few weeks of December. A half century on this Earth is an excellent reason for some more introspection! Honestly I do not feel any older, but do question life's purpose and meaning. I truly wish I was more spiritual, as that could provide some illusion of understanding - but my mind is rooted in logic, reason and rationality, which means that some metaphysical dimensions just do not resonate.
Passion has been sorely lacking in my life - a passion that drives you out of bed every morning and makes you look forward to the day ahead with bated breath. I cannot reconcile myself to the fact that each day's meaning is garnered from what I eat, how I exercise and my work schedule. Weeks and weekends have blurred into a meaningless opacity, with nothing to differentiate one from the other, other than the inexorable passage of time. I do not quite know 'when' my life became a turgid river, flowing through an endless vista of unchanging scrubland, but I do realize that I need to change its course towards a more varied landscape.
Maybe 2015 will provide me with some ideas or gently nudge me in a new direction that will reveal a bit more of what I am truly meant to do. I honestly do not have too much optimism about this - but we all live in hope.
So Happy New Year to you - Dear Reader - and I do hope that 2015 holds (at least some of) the answers that you might be seeking in your own life.
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