How about leaving your Footprints on my Beach?

Going through my blog, I realise that I have dawdled on a variety of topics ranging from children and education, to corporate life and traffic snarls. I have interspersed these, with updates about what has been happening in my life.


I remember writing my first blog, as a way to vent my frustrations (pathetic as seen in current light) about the management of a major corporation. I truly believed that I could do a better job and hence wanted to express myself through this forum. At the time the blog was not intended to be public, and I had kept my identity to myself, so that even if someone were to chance on it, they would not know who the author was.


It was only after I had written a few articles and shown them to my wife that we jointly decided that "I should come out of the closet" so to speak. It took a lot of courage to actually circulate them, because in the very act of asking someone to read them, was the implicit arrogance that they were worth reading. I still struggle with this, and though on the one hand I would love to see my site's "footfall" increase, somehow on the other I am loath to publicize my dithering’s.


Your stuff starts out being just for you……. but then it goes out. Once you know what the story is and get it right - as right as you can, anyway - it belongs to anyone who wants to read it. Or criticize it.
- Stephen King


This site allows me to track page-views, to see what has been viewed and how often. To my surprise the articles that relate to my personal experiences have had the highest number of "hits". I guess people who know me, relate to them more than to the other perspectives that I have published.


I do think however, that some of my ignored op-eds were more interesting than my personal experiences. It takes some effort to come up with an issue to write about, and then articulate an argument around it. Obviously it gets easier if it is something that you feel strongly about, and funnily enough because you feel strongly, you would love to hear others agree or disagree with your view.


So I come to this conundrum as to, whether to bare-all in this forum which might interest people more, or to continue voicing my opinion. Should I adopt the Big Brother format for my blogs where-in I write about the trivia in my life, or should I try and adopt a more intellectual pose? My blog viewing history tells me that the former would be more successful, as most of you care not one fig about my views - and rightly so!

Over the last few months I have condensed each blog, tried desperately to hit a more humorous vein, and inserted pictures and cartoons to alleviate the tedium of text.


To conclude, even though I know how many times a blog has been viewed, I have no idea of the demographic, and hence it gets difficult to get the balance as regards relevance. In some cases I can guess who the reader is, and in very few I get comments. I really appreciate your comments, because whether you agree with my view or not, it means that you have taken the time and effort to read through, and there is no greater compliment than that.

So on my part I will try to make my blogs as readable, brief and enjoyable as I can, to make sure that you visit more often. On your part please do leave your comments (footprints) as and when you can, but better still - please keep reading.

First Date

Last week I went on the first date with my daughter Lea. We had spoken about it often, but never really managed to get down to it. The plan had always been, to go for a movie followed by dinner. Because my son and I share our taste in high octane Hollywood fare, we have had enough opportunities to connect. With Lea however it has been more difficult. Her tastes in entertainment, be it music or movies, really does stretch my patience. Barbie and Aquamarine are really not my "type", in movies, nor are Miley Cyrus and Taylor Swift in music! Anyway, we took advantage of the fact that my wife had an official function that evening, to plan and execute our date. Any worries that my son would feel left out were dispelled by his reaction, as he is most happy when he is sitting in front of his laptop or left to his music.

There really were no suitable movies running, and since we have been the sort of parents who have curtailed our children’s intake of sugar and high fat food, the general idea was to take her out to indulge in whatever she wanted to eat. The initial conditions were that she would only buy what she would eat that evening, nothing to be taken back home. When I asked what she had in mind, she was torn between candy, milkshakes, junk food, or Slurpee’s. The choices for her were quite literally staggering, as under normal circumstances she would be gifted with a frown, if she ever asked for any of the above.

As mentioned before, I have done this with my son before, but taking my daughter out for dinner, was a completely new experience! With my son we have deep conversations and sometimes even deeper silences. As with all men, we are as comfortable not saying anything, as we are discussing issues. But with my daughter, it was incessant chatter, all the way from our front door and back. She was excited and it showed! It showed in her staccato monologue, and in her half skip-half run walk as she kept pace with me. By her own admission she loves to talk and cannot stop even if she tries. She started before we left the house, and managed to continue sharing her day, her views on clothes, friends and food all through the evening. I did get in a few words edgewise, but other than that it was her all the way.

Candy is her favorite so was not surprised that the first stop was at Candylicious. She spent some time selecting what she wanted, and to my surprise the basket at the end of it was extremely light. I queried her on it and her response was that she did not want to be greedy. Next stop was Millions of Milkshakes, where we both treated ourselves to a small shake (hers being the Miley Cyrus shake, of course), which sat in my stomach like a ton of bricks. Of course she had kept her "real" wish for last. She wanted to stop in at Hamleys, to see if something caught her eye. Her excitement was infectious as she ran around the aisles looking for that "something". I, of course, knew that we would not leave Hamleys without "something", which proved to be correct.

She had dressed up for the occasion, and unfortunately the walking had resulted in her getting a shoe-bite. We agreed that the last half hour or so, when she went barefoot with her shoes in her hand, would be our secret to be kept from Mom (she generally frowns on such behavior). That also gave me the chance to carry her on my back all the way to the car in the Mall parking, an act that I sense will soon be difficult to achieve.

As we walked out of the Mall after a couple of hours, I truly was content and at peace with the world. I believed that I had spent an entire evening with the most beautiful girl in the world, and to top it off had made her extremely happy.

As an old saying goes - A daughter is a gift of love.

Spend baby spend

I quite often get an idea for my blog through conversations, and this one is the result of one such chat with a friend, post an intensive exercise session, when the topic of spending habits came up. We have common friends, who we both believe, spend more than they should, and what’s worse is that (in our opinion) most of it is for show. To keep up with the Jones's rather than through a genuine desire for a particular product or service. Without getting judgmental, this is not an uncommon trait. A vast swathe of people, derive their self-esteem through their material possessions.

We all complain that this is a material world, but let us be honest, the world does judge us by our spend. Whether we like it or not, our worth is measured by the objects that we own and that surround us. We have all been seduced into this way of thinking by slick marketing and product hype in the media. Children who have mobiles are obviously better off than children who don't. Children with smart phones are better off than children with normal cell phones, and so on. We want better schools for our kids, better cars for ourselves, bigger houses etc., etc.!

One area that spend has exploded in, in the last couple of decades is on children. Whether it is education, toys or food, the focus has shifted firmly to one level above ones means. The Marketers have hit on the right nerve, by targeting the emotional angle that kids entail and milked it to its maximum. Even sensible middle class people, who probably deny themselves the small luxuries of life, cannot resist the siren call of indulgence when it comes to their children. The best clothes, latest accessories and an inability to refuse their child any wish, characterises the 21st century family.

As an example I see so many people now ferrying their infants in fancy perambulators, which cost as much as a small car. They come with built in suspension systems, brakes (brakes seriously!!!), adjustable heights, tires the size of an SUV and of course tire pumps. I really wonder whether they think that the baby notices the difference. These are used for a couple of years, after which they are either stored or given away. On the other hand, we were probably carried around on our parent’s hips, and our children were trundled around in the most basic prams available in the market. I remember we travelled half way around the world with one where the front wheels would not swivel, and we got good exercise as a result, and my daughter was none the worse for wear.

The other example is evident on any trip to the Mall, as you see today's children attired in the latest hot brands and accessories. Styled hair, make up, branded designer clothing, expensive shoes and the latest gadgets, all at their folk's expense. I really wonder whether their parents have ever had a conversation with them on the value of money, being independent and having discipline. But even more is my inability to understand how anyone can enjoy flagrantly spending other people’s money. Where is their sense of self pride and self-worth, or is it that they see this as an obligation that their parents have to fulfill?

The American model of life and excessive spend has now become so endemic that I doubt that people are even aware of the trap that they have sprung on themselves. Easy credit, low interest rates, and peer pressure have resulted in almost all of us having huge loans over our heads. Whether it is for cars or houses, education or household appliances, we borrow money to fund our desires and the Banks are laughing all the way to the .... uhmm Bank?

"Today, there are three kinds of people: the haves, the have-not's, and the have-not-paid-for-what-they-have's." - Earl Wilson

Money has become such a symbol of status, that living within ones means, and saying that one cannot afford something is almost heresy. People of limited means who actually endeavor to live within those means, often find themselves on the fringes of society. Secretly envied (probably), but publicly disdained.

Additionally, affordability is a very difficult concept for many people to understand, especially when the advertisements have got you by your emotional balls. For most people, potential future earning (however uncertain) is a guidepost for affordability. Revenue streams, unpredictability of expenses, inflation, future cash flows etc. are not concepts that most people want to wrap their heads around. And I say fantastic! More power to them!

As America’s spending power wanes, the new powers in the East, like China and India will take on the mantle. I cannot speak for the Chinese, but India is following so closely in America’s footsteps that soon it will be stepping on its toes. Branded clothes, fancy restaurants, shopping holidays, expensive cars all jostle for the Indian Diasporas attention. The culture of consumerism is spreading all over, and with it will come the next great economic boom, as the purveyors of fine objects will suck in this money to feed their factories and their shareholders.

And frankly, as many feed this engine of economic growth, others who prefer to sit on the sidelines and invest in the corporations and companies that manufacture those products, will gain from the valuations. For people who save, the next big investment break is just around the corner, as todays spoilt Teens enter the marketplace with their insatiable greed for "stuff". If this generation can live so extravagantly on their parent’s money, I can only imagine their profligacy as they start earning for themselves.

Now if only we could identify the next big fad or hit product, we could be sitting pretty and raking it in!

Savers like spenders, worriers like avoiders and planners marry dreamers.

~ Olivia Mellan