My Way

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something - Steve Jobs

There are so many times when one wonders why one does what one does – or at least I do! Whether the price of getting out of bed is worth the rewards - emotional or physical? At such times of introspection I see the stage at which my life is and where I am, and wonder whether it was by plan or accident. More often than not the conclusion is that I stand where I do as an accidental tourist, having reached it without design or strategy.

But then, how many middle aged people can say with confidence that they are exactly where they wanted to be? And how many more who carry a facade, far removed from the reality within? The only people, who can say with certainty that they are where they wanted to be, are people whose goals and objectives have not changed over the intervening years. Their desires have stayed constant and unwavering, and hence they have been successful in achieving the same. But I think that it is difficult to want and chase the same thing at 40 that you did at 20. Maturity, exposure and experience add new dimensions, just as people and life do, making it almost impossible to stay true. Life's uncertainties make a mockery of man’s intent!

I was having a conversation with a friend this weekend, who is having a miserable time at work. Demotivated and dejected, every day is drudgery. He has not experienced this before, and really has no arrows in his quiver to counter the situation. Opportunities are scarce, and walking out is not an option. He is working on opening other doors, but that will take time, and hence, in the meanwhile, he has to endure. These would be tough days for him - days that tests his spirit to its very core, and the lack of options is the icing on this bitter dessert.

Driving to work in the mornings gives me ample time to ruminate, and this morning I was thinking about him. I have also gone through tough periods – when I had to do what I really did not want to! Whether you have been passed over for a promotion, or you are reporting to someone you do not respect. Whether it is the government, or the middleman who ate your commission. Whether it is your customer that has not paid you or your employer, the stress remains. Whether you work for yourself or someone else, hard days dawn on all. And tough days demand tough questions be asked.

An ordinary man’s life is measured by small indignities endured silently. The price of success, however one measures it, is always steep. Whether in time, health, relationships or values, the ends will always take their pound of flesh.

But what I was really thinking about, as I drove along with both my car and my mind on cruise control was - how many people actually live lives that they dictate? Something on the lines of the song "My Way"!! (If you have not heard that song, then please do, or at least read the lyrics.) The song is both uplifting and depressing. Uplifting because the song makes you think of how one "should" live their life, and depressing because the comparison with reality is quite often unflattering.

The fact remains that we all make small sacrifices, every day. And when times are tough, really tough - it is our family and our children’s faces in front of us, that carry us through the pain and the indignity. We always find something that makes it worthwhile, that makes us straighten our backs, widen our shoulders, lift our chins, and face the onslaught of another day in that particular paradise. And every time we straighten up, every time we shake off the effects of a sucker punch that life threw at us, we get up stronger.

And that brings me to the final thought, of how much deeper the cut, and how impotent all these acquired strengths will be, when our children have to endure the same. It is one thing to bear for oneself, the slings and arrows that fate throws, and quite another to see your offsprings flail under a similar onslaught.

At such times, all we can do is to point our children to the immortal words of Rudyard Kipling, an excerpt of which is below:-

…….

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;

……..

Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!