A Pain in the Neck

It was one of those days - and I seem to be having a few recently. You feel a sense of lethargy - almost of resignation! A day when one does not feel like springing out of bed, but instead just wants to loll around.  

 

It was the weekend on a glorious winter day – the sort of day when I would normally get up early and be raring to get out and do something. The kind of day my family hates, as I drive them up the wall by noisily clattering around in the house to get them up and about, when all they want is to sleep a bit more. The kind of day when I would whistle tunelessly to aggravate them out of bed! And once up and staggering about, I would pepper them with nonsensical suggestions on how we could spend the rest of the day, thereby irritating them even further. (I think there is nothing as irritating as having someone bathed, dressed and ready early in the morning, cheerfully planning and bustling about, while you are still staggering around waiting for the caffeine to hit!!) 

And yet that day - I felt no such desire!

 

It was not depression or dejection - just boredom I think. A day when the tedium of living my quotidian life got to me – making me feel restless. Almost everything that I would normally want to do - like go to the Beach, or for a ride on my Motorbike, or go to the Gym - all felt like just too much bother. Normally I am a firm defendant of having and following routines, but this was the sort of day when one railed against them. I felt trapped in and by my routines and the effort of trying to make a change just did not seem worth the benefit.

Anyway in this desultory mood, I agreed to accompany my wife to a local mall. She wanted to browse around for her clothes and so I decided to peel off on my own. When she is looking for her stuff, she actually prefers that I am not around so that she can focus on what she wants. With me in tow she keeps getting distracted by my fancies for the latest gizmos or my sartorial requirements. It is quite strange because I cannot shop 'without' her, and she cannot shop 'with' me!

On such days I do not mind leaving her to it either, as that saves me from trudging around behind her from one clothes store to the other. She gets quite annoyed with my vacant expression while she is pulling out different outfits for my opinion, and more often than not in sheer frustration leaves without a purchase. She tends to buy much less when I am with her. Knowing this and depending on the state of the monthly budget as well as the time of the month, I generally decide whether to accompany her or not. I stick to her like a leech towards the end of the month when our budget is gasping for breath :-)  

Soon enough the temperature in the mall combined with the copious amount of tea I had had, drew me to the nearest washroom. As I finished and headed for the bank of basins to wash up, I saw the toilet attendant (yes we have those) talking to another cleaner. The two of them were in deep conversation, and in my dark mood I wondered whether they would be feeling any chipper than me. Here I was, with not a blight on my horizon, still feeling quite edgy! I could not help but wonder then, as to the mood of a person on possibly the lowest rung of the ladder.

 

I truly believe in the dignity of labour and have nothing against any person’s honest livelihood, but I struggle to think of any job that would compare to that of a toilet attendant. If there is anybody who should rightfully be in a foul mood, it should be this chap. Working in an upmarket mall, on a weekend, surrounded by well-heeled people, out shopping, dining and basically just enjoying life, while one cleans toilets - should be enough to blacken anyone’s mood.

 

With these thoughts, I went up to the basin closest to them to gauge their mood. They were talking in a language that I could not understand but I thought that their body language should be enough. Anyway as I sidled closer, I could hear animated conversation and then saw the smiles. They both absolutely radiated happiness. As the man turned to me with a beaming smile and handed me a tissue to wipe my wet hands with, his mood rubbed off on me. I left the washrooms in a slightly better frame of mind than the one I entered in.

 

And as I was walking around, this little interaction seemed to have sharpened my senses. I started noticing the people around me - getting in and out of high-fashion stores and shops. Hands full of shopping and designer bags on their elbows. I passed cafe's full of people eating, talking or just sitting - and I started to play a mental game of trying to guess their mood and frame of mind from their faces and body language.

As I meandered around like an amateur Sherlock Holmes I realized that I was not alone in that mood. People's facial expressions (especially when they are alone or not in someones direct gaze) reflect their mood, and I could sense tension, stress and unhappiness on many. Smiles that did not reach their eyes, frowns when they thought no one was looking, a harassed and frantic walking style - all told me that no matter their outward manifestation, people carried their own share of burdens.

I could not but help and compare myself and these many others who, despite the countless blessings bestowed on us, still spend an inordinate amount of time in a foul mood. Maybe we have more to lose, maybe our egos are bigger or have a further distance to fall - no matter what, there is quite a contrast. 

Maybe it is to do with the stridency of the 'things' that surround us in our lives now, the clutter of objects and expectations that sit on our shoulders like a stone. And as we keep adding to their weight, the fear of dropping the boulder increases. Worries, doubts, and insecurities start overtaking us, and if we let them will envelop us so completely in a shroud of darkness, that we will lose sight of the bright lights along the way – like stars peeping out from behind storm clouds. 

Coming back to the attendant, I am not naive to think that he would not be having his own problems. In all probability his issues are huge and maybe I caught him on a rare day. Living in a labor camp, away from loved ones, his life could be full of drudgery. On other days he might be looking up at people in the Mall and feeling distraught, depressed and unhappy.

 

But at the end of it all if 'he' could smile and laugh, we should by all accounts be dancing and clicking our heels in joy. 

If boredom is the only cloud on ones horizon, then one is truly lucky!

And that also made me realise that whether one is standing at the bottom looking up, or at the top looking down, one is bound to get a crick in the neck.